March 1816

Giving

People tend to only associate giving with giving something tangible to someone, or doing something nice for them.

But what we project out to the world, the way we respond to people, even bad people... that can be a strong, giving thing.

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A while back, a client was referred to me, seeking answers regarding a money problem. As I searched her past, it became immediately apparent that her short 4 lifetimes as a soul started with money being an issue.

In 1792, she was being counseled before going into her first lifetime. When asked what she wanted in this life, she said "to be rich". "And?" the counselor replied. "Nothing else," She said. "My only concern is that I'm rich. If I'm rich, I will have everything that I need." "Very well," the counselor answered. She entered her new life as the richest woman in Spain. The drawback was that she was also born grossly disfigured. Throughout her life, no one would look at her, much less love her. not even her closest servants. She ended that lifetime alone and terribly unhappy.

When she visited the soul counselor to go down for her second lifetime, the counselor asked her about her first lifetime experience. "It was horrible!" She quickly replied. "So, what would you like in this lifetime?" the counselor asked. "Uh...to be rich AND happy!" she said. "I can't do that," the counselor said solemnly. "I'm sending you into a life where you will be poor, but happy -- and loved. You'll also be disfigured, like you were in the previous lifetime, but you'll be loved despite it. You see, if I let you be rich again, you'll associate the happiness with being rich, despite what you experienced in your first lifetime." she said.

The second lifetime was wonderful. She was born to a large family. Her father was a blacksmith. He worked hard to provide for his family. She grew up in a family of love and was never really conscious of her disfigurement. Although poor, she knew only of how loved she was. She was happy for all her life. It's important for all of us to understand the priorities of life. Money is the invention of greedy men. Our souls crave the giving and receiving of love. Money can't buy that. Material things cannot give us love. Having material things is not like having love. Love is actually the only thing you can take with you when you die.

This client's life lessons illustrate the perils of succumbing to a self-serving lifestyle of materialistic greed. It is this type of lifestyle that allows us to be controlled by evil. True wealth is measured by how we help others.

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The new age movement. The age of enlightenment. These times that we are in seem to be marked by gurus, masters and the like - all telling us how we can improve ourselves. Some claim that what we need to do is to think positively to manifest our wealth. Others provide us with many tools to "find" ourselves and make ourselves better. This is all wrong.

Trying to "work on yourself" is a very selfish and ego-driven effort. The disconnect comes after we acknowledge that we are all one. People seem to understand and accept that. And then, after agreeing to that, they proceed to work on themselves. A friend of mine recently told me that for years now, she's been trying to better herself so she can eventually help others. It's not going to work!

What you have to do - right now - is to stop focusing on yourself and start working to help others. After all, everyone else is really you, so in fact, by helping others, you are helping yourself! Through this process, everyone, including you, benefit.

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I think the hardest thing people are tasked with in their lives is to learn how to let go. Whether its constant worrying, being hurt or allowing a sibling to make you crazy, we all have some thing that holds us back from our higher selves. "Letting go" of those things is the only path to progression. But the mere thought of actually letting go terrifies us. Why is it so hard to do? Well, because you're holding on too tight!

Let's say that you're trying to fill your life with a peaceful zen but you keep running into your sister over at mom's house. You're trying to take care of your mom because you are her appointed caregiver, but your sister has other ideas. Great opportunity to "just let go" as you try to not let her bother you, but she is really getting under your skin!

The problem of letting go in this situation lies in the fact that letting go means giving up control of the situation. You certainly cannot control how your sister relates to you or the situation, but you somehow believe maybe you can change her. We associate letting go with losing control. In a way that's absolutely right. It's just that you're losing the idea that you have control of other people and things - things that you actually never had control over but hoped that you did. By letting go, you're actually GAINING control - over yourself. You take control of yourself because you're no longer letting others control you. You reacting to someone is you letting them control you. 

So, how do you let go with your controlling sister - and others? Don't let them control you, understand that no argument happens without your participation. Start by explaining your boundaries and how you would like to be treated. Let's say that after that, she challenges you about how much time you're actually spending with mom. After taking a deep breath and centering, you say "thank you for sharing your thoughts on that. I'm comfortable with how I'm handling things." If your sister just gets nasty, then say "oh, you're no longer being supportive but rather just trying to control the situation. I don't respond to that approach." When you do not participate in the heightened argument, you deflate the situation -- remember an argument can't happen without you! And if she starts behaving more positively, you say "Thank you. That's a good suggestion and I'll think about that."

Whatever your sister thinks, does or says no longer has any effect on you. When you truly feel this way, then you've truly let go. Now broaden the scope and apply this to all the areas of your life where you're maintaining the illusion that you somehow have control over it. The example of the sister was a literal situation, but most of our fear and doubt is generated within our own minds...what will people think of me? What if i don't do that? Your fears don't change a situation. They do however, display to you your lack of control in the world and disable your control over yourself. If you stop trying to control the world and everything around you, it will be much easier to focus on controlling yourself. 

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So many people right now are going through a vibratory change that is affecting them right to their very soul. As they open themselves energetically and spiritually, they start feeling the bliss of the love energy entering them. All is good -- until they start feeling edgy, grumpy, bitchy, fearful and negative. And they say to themselves, "Hey, wait! I thought I just got rid of all this stuff? Why am I regressing? What am I doing wrong?"

Well first off, you're not doing anything wrong. To the contrary. As we all get closer to our inner self, our past lives become more integrated with our present. Unresolved past issues are stronger energy and come to the forefront faster during this process. This is actually an indication that you're getting closer to your soul consciousness. A problem that generally occurs during this time is that these unresolved issues are complex and multifaceted, making them difficult to resolve. Just resolving one aspect of the issue will provide temporary relief, but will not completely eliminate the issue. And it will be very disruptive if you just ignored it.

The best approach is to solve the puzzle one piece at a time until you have enough puzzle pieces to solve the entire puzzle. I have a program that work along those lines. Life will be very pleasant after you resolve it!

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Many of us are fascinated by the idea that we have had past lives. I hear people wonder out loud as to whether or not they were someone famous from the past - or want to know why they feel connected to a particular place or time. Generally speaking if these questions are moving into your consciousness then it indicates something which is important for you to discover on your journey to soul consciousness.

I have discovered that there are many nuances and complexities to our soul timeline. Think of each lifetime you experience as being represented by a cube. This cube sits in a square and is on a board that has a thousand squares. There are many sides to the cube. Each side that faces up represents something about that lifetime. We may at an initial glance look at the board and only see an image on one cube and the rest be blank. We are seeing only that one image because at this moment, that is all we need to see. This particular event in this particular past life is important to us. It presents a problem we need to be aware of. Solving that problem provides relief or direction that's needed at that time.

Later, we may look at the board and that same cube, that same past life, may now be represented by a different side of the cube. Typically when you are ready to look deeper into an issue, the information will become more detailed. And now as we look, other cubes are showing an image. And if you view all of the images that these lives present, it makes a much bigger, more detailed, image. The bigger image may be a trend or characteristic of a series of lifetimes. And so now, we're seeing a different problem that is discovered by seeing a pattern. Instead of a simple fear, for instance a fear of heights, it may be that the fear of heights was incurred because of one particular event. This particular event, you find, ultimately caused by trouble letting go of control over a series of past lives.

The point I'm trying to make is that as we get closer to our soul consciousness, the dynamics of all past lives change. I have worked with several people who have explored one problem in one past life and think that solving that problem was the only thing they had to do. However, together we have realized that there may be another problem from that same lifetime that needs attention as well. And ever more complex is that solving one problem in one past life may open a door to another set of problems in many past lives. 

I have to say, though, that as we get to the point where the faces of each past life cube are changing, we can take comfort in the realization that we are experiencing the effect that is created as you are approaching your soul consciousness. The soul holds the entire collection and what we are experiencing is the incorporation of the many layers of our past lives melding into our current life and moving us closer and closer to soul consciousness.

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A couple of weeks ago, I was having lunch at a place in Spring Hill. Off in a corner, I heard voices. I couldn't make out what was being said, but it was very clearly audible. It became apparent to me that I was hearing a little girl about the age of seven. There was no little girl actually present. The girl I was hearing had died in Spring Hill in 1889. She described to me that it was "the fever" and her little brother had died of it, too. She further explained that her parents had taken her to a "Healer" that could help. Abigail, as she said her name was, described this healer as a "flim-flam-sham-man". When Abigail died, she didn't crossover because she saw how upset her parents were and wanted to stay and help. She said that she stayed too long and the door to the other side closed. She's been wandering around ever since.

I asked her that if I opened the door, would she want to go through now. She excitedly said yes. She said that was why she was trying to get my attention. I asked that the door be opened for her and watched her rise and go through. It was an amazing experience that lasted only a few minutes.

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My Spirit Guide, Fred, left me in the hands of my higher self last December. At first, I missed him. But then I began to appreciate, if not even enjoy, the clarity of my mind without him. Recently, curiosity got the best of me and I began to ask a bit more about Fred and how we met. For several months now, when I would go into the shower (which I refer to as "the Psychic Phonebooth") and invariably start singing "my balony has a first name, it's O-S-C-A-R...". I never really thought much about it. Then one day recently, a name popped up into my head, Luis De La Artigas. Again, without thinking, I said out loud, "Is that Fred's real name?" It was.

Our lifetime together was in the 1200s. I was born in Germany but moved to France for work. I was a mercenary. This is how I met Luis, or Fred. Fred was a mercenary from Spain. Fred did everything to an extreme. He was an excellent swordsman, a heavy drinker and loved to gamble. Often times we'd go into a village pub and Fred would get rather drunk. It is at this point he'd challenge someone to a sword fight. If someone could touch him with a sword before he touched them, they would win. Knowing that he was so drunk, everyone always thought it would be easy money so the bets poured in. Despite his apparent inebriation, Fred always won!

In the northeastern part of France, there was a farm I would stop at every time I past it. In return for some tobacco and/or candy, the farmer would feed me and let me stay the night. He always made me feel welcomed. His 16 year old daughter was my wife in this lifetime, Karen. She had a crush on me and I tried to resist because my life was so nomadic. Truthfully, I did a lousy job resisting! About a half-day's ride from the farmhouse was a pub where I was to meet Fred. 

When I got there, Fred was outside of the pub, sitting in front of the door, wounded and bleeding. I lifted him up to his horse and we took off. We went back to the farmhouse. The farmer's daughter (it never gets old!) tended to Fred's wounds. Fred told me that he had done the swordfight challenge as usual (its his way of drinking for free). There was an older man wearing a hooded robe that stepped up for the challenge. They went outside and the stranger threw his robe off, revealing the smart outfitting of a gentleman. Fred was already too drunk to really notice or care. As the duel began, Fred quickly sobered. He said that no man has ever fought him like the old man did. After a seemingly endless time of swordplay, the stranger ran his blade into Fred. Fred said he had no idea who he was but I thought to myself that perhaps I did, but I said nothing to Fred about it.

Two days later, Fred was feeling much better. It was a beautiful early summer day as six riders approached the farmhouse where we were. I told everyone to stay inside and stepped out to greet them. I recognized two of them. They were locals from the pub where Fred had fought. They said they were here to collect the money that Fred owed them from the fight. I asked how much and they quoted an amount that I seriously doubted that Fred would have agreed to -- no matter how drunk he was! I asked who amongst them fought Fred. They said he wasn't with them. I explained that Fred was very ill from his wounds and that he, nor I, could pay that amount. That really got them riled up. I then said, "I will however offer to fight this stranger that you cannot seem to identify as an opportunity to defend Fred's honor and make good on his losses". They began to laugh and said that they thought that was a good idea. I told them to run along and set something up and I would stop by next week. Oops. They were mad again. They insisted that I come with them now. I had no other choice but to agree. I gathered up my things and said goodbye to Fred, the farmer and his daughter, Karen. I had a foreboding sense that I would not see them again.

We got back to the pub near dusk. After a dinner which was bought for me, I was told that the stranger had agreed to my terms and would be here in the early afternoon tomorrow. I was given a room at the attached inn. The next day, I ate a hearty breakfast, again at the courtesy of my new friends. I couldn't help but think I was being prepared for my last meal. The stranger came into the pub around midday. He didn't bother to disguise himself like he did with Fred and it wouldn't have mattered because I wasn't drunk. We sat down and talked while the pub crowded up with more men than I've ever seen around this very rural locale. The stranger told me that he had learned about Fred from a worker that he knew that frequented this pub. He felt compelled to teach Fred a lesson. He mocked Fred and said that his skills were amateurish and undisciplined. I said that in the time I had known Fred, I had never seen a better swordsman. 

"But I know who you are", I said. "You're Count Lafleur, aren't you?" "At your service," he replied. The Count was the most famous swordsman of all. He personally taught the King. I had not heard much about him for sometime, but despite being twice my age, he had a formidable presence. "I like you", he said. "Why would you bother to defend the honor of a drunkard?" I didn't hesitate in my reply. "He is my best friend and has always had my back. I would never abandon him." "Are you prepared to die for him?" he asked. "Are you prepared to die for a few coin?" I replied. He sat back in his seat and sized me up. After a moment, he said "I don't think it will come to that." And with that, we both stood up and drew our swords. The locals quickly moved the tables and chairs to the sides. 

It was immediately apparent that he was indeed a master. He had an edge over Fred's naturally instinctive talent. He was methodical and cunning, like a chess player. My edge had been my patience and it was serving me well now. The Count laid several traps, but I didn't fall for them. "Not like your impatient friend, are you?" he said in a hint of out-of-breath. I only smiled and continued. A few seconds later, I was able to swipe my sword across his arm and leave a good-sized gash that was bleeding immediately. He never missed a beat or even looked at it. I guess I could feel it coming even before it happened. The whole scene started to slow down and the sounds became muffled and echoed. I felt the thrust of his sword penetrate my gut. It burned, but the pain wasn't registering yet. The fighting stopped. The count watched as I slowly sank to the floor. He knelt down to me and gently took my sword from my hand. He grimaced as he put his hand over the wound on his upper arm. "You have honored me. In all my years with the sword, no one has been able to inflict such a deep wound on me. At one point I even feared for my life" he said admiringly. "Please, may I know your name?" "Oskar" I replied. "But remember my friend's name, Luis De La Artigas. He will be the last person you will see in this life." And then I slipped away from that lifetime.

You can see now why it is so natural that 800 years later, Fred would be my guide. 

* Just as a note. I have currently documented all my lives back to 400 B.C. This is just as far as I've gotten, but there are many interesting points that show up as trends...but that's for another post!

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Ever feel like you just don't belong? It may be that you're just not synchronized with this incarnation. Well, that explains everything, right? I get it! Let me explain how you might be out-of-sync. Let's say that you just had a wonderful life with your best bud and as planned, you died early, like in a war. Your bud lives on and gets married. And let's say that you want "in" on this timeline and you want to be your bud's new son, but it's not in the plan. The plan is for you to get together in a future timeline. That's great and all, but you want to go down now and be your best bud's new son. To do so, you give up the spot in the future timeline.

It is also explained to you that an insertion like this will cause you to be out-of-sync with the current timeline. This will make you feel unconnected. "fine", you say and you jump into the timeline anyhow.

So, here you are in the spot that you wanted to be in, but everything seems out-of-sorts. And you do have problems connecting with people. What do you do? Well, the cause of the disconnect is from the soul not knowing why the heck its in this timeline. This was not a planned insertion! The out-of-sorts feeling is coming from your own soul. Because of this, you're not able to get the guidance that most people get for themselves...that intuition. The only way to resync with your soul is through love. You have to love yourself wholly and completely. Loving yourself creates a strong bond with your soul and the energy involved forces the synchronization.

Resyncing vests your soul into this timeline. It creates a harmony not only for you, but with those around you. It also puts you back on track to receive guidance from your soul and to advance in your physical world lessons.

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Let me first preface by saying that I'm talking about beliefs you have about yourself, not religious beliefs. Whew! That was close.

As a recent addition to my "Releasing the Past..Rewriting the Future" workshop https://www.facebook.com/events/476954612351838/ I have found that even after removing the triggers to past traumatic events, we still have a series of beliefs that stand on their own - between you and your heart (love).

Although these beliefs are a product of a traumatic event, they become an entity of their own and as such must be dealt with separately. Many, if not most of these beliefs are formed from our parents. Beliefs like not being pretty enough or smart enough are formed from comments or actions of a person that we hold in high regard. I call these beliefs "blocking beliefs" because they literally stand between our emotional consciousness and our heart. They block our ability to love ourselves and be loved.

Up until about a month ago, my Visual Cleansing Techniques removed and reset a lot of issues but only dimmed the blocking beliefs. Without further work, they (the blocking beliefs) we able to come back. I think my new module addresses this. We'll know for sure after the seminar on the 23rd as this will be the first time using it.

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